Have you ever felt like there's something wrong with the world? How the world always seems to reward only the familiar? That you have to be completely homogeneous and "blend in" in order for you to be deemed socially acceptable? Whatever happened to individuality? Whatever happened to not conforming? I always feel rejected and often shunned whenever I go out into the real world because more often than not I feel like I am different. And different is quite lonely at times. Different is difficult and most of the time I am subjected to stares and having to justify my choices simply because I'm different. Simply because I refuse to conform to societal standards. I am not angry. I'm not trying to blame anyone. I don't believe anyone should be blamed. This was my choice. I wanted to be here. To walk my own path and do my own thing. In fact, I know it's good that i'm different, but it doesn't mean it's easy.
Perhaps nothing worth having comes easy and sometimes I wish things were less complicated, but I know I refuse to be anyone else but myself and think how I think. So here I stand yet again, at a cross road between my vision for my passion and the conveyor belt lifestyle I've grown to detest, going in day in and day out wondering if there's more to life thinking that I have any sort of control over what lays before me like I have some kind of power over what will unfold in my unforeseen future. But thinking and knowing are two different things. I know I don't have any control over my future although I think I do. But no, that doesn't mean I should rest on my laurels and wait for things to come my way. I will walk this path and keep working for my dreams not knowing where it will end or how it will end with nothing but my passion and my love for this vision that I have to keep me company. But hey, I'd rather feel lost doing the things I want to do than having everything laid out in front of me and adhere to the program like a zombie. I'd rather be lost than found in the wrong places, places that I don't want to be.
But maybe just maybe life is not about the duality of being lost and found or success and failure. No, life is not that black and white. It's high time I realize it's about the journey not the goal and even if I walk down my life not being understood but if I stay true to myself perhaps that in itself is the reward. So for those who are struggling to find your passion, your sense of purpose, your meaning of life, your drive, and who you are, this one's for you. Never stop hustling. Fight for your passion, fight for your dreams.